so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
