Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
