HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
