If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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