Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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