I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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