its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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