what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
