dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
