so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
