No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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