The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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