dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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