Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
