I wish I could punch you in the face.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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