I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
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My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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