What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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