I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
