U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
