so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
