I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I love you.
Bad choice
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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