Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
one might say we're banned from that church
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
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you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
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Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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