Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
