she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
