This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
