I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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