All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
