Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
