I'm jealous of your bromance
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Randomize
