Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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