HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
