My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
