Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Where is the hickey?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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