And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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