i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
