Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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