therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
