just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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