Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize