I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
