Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
