don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
