I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
