O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize