ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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