im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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