I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
