Who did Billy Mays play for?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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