If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
