You're completely useless in the revolution.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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