I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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