we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
