How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
