her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
