i think my tv is drunk
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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