Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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