I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
