The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
