Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
