one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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