Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
