Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
