It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize